- Having lots of people over for dinner
- Trying to organise my Christmas travel plans (that has taken a LOT of time)
- Baking, trying out new stir fry combinations, and have recently diversified into roasts (cooked my first baked roast pork tonight ... yum!)
- Not exercising, even though the gym really is less than 50 metres away from my door (And notably, my fridge and kitchen) nor responding to emails (sorry if I owe you a reply, it's in my inbox, very sorry for the delay!)
- Playing and coaching touch footy
- Signing up for even more clubs (I've been revising my tally in the previous blog entry ... yes, this is incredible)
It's amazing ... for most of the last 2 years, I've been pretty stretched with work; working all day, squeezing in a bit of church/social/other activity at night and on the weekends. Here it's the exact opposite: my days are filled with social/church/cooking/other activities, with a few hours of class a day (and a bit of reading before hand) ... and, how do I feel?
I dunno.
A little, well, strange.
Empty? No, I don't think so. It's not like life has been superficial; far from it - with many rich interactions with really interesting people; many new and incredible experiences. I'm certainly not bored, there's lots to do; non stop action in fact - academic, social, sporting, anything!
Frustrated? I guess. I do wish I was more efficient; prioritised better; yada yada yada. But this is not something new: and those who know me will know I'm already pretty efficient; I just get frustrated over the last 5-10% of unrealised potential productivity.
So what is it? I guess I really don't know. I feel silly at myself for feeling down when there is so much to be exquisitely happy over!
All these murmurings remind me of the mental rumblings of the richest man who ever lived (in Purchasing-Power-Parity-adjusted terms), King Solomon ...
I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor.
Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 2:11-12)
Believe me, I don't feel that what I'm doing is meaningless. I know there is purpose for me being here, I know it is God's plan - destiny! - that I am here. That doesn't mean I have to feel overjoyed every single day, even when I'm doing things daily that I would rarely have had the chance to do in the hustle and bustle back home ...
Blessings, murmurings and prayers
john
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